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Writer's pictureKayla Victoria

No Monkey Don’t Stop No Show

Negativity is all around us. Some familiar sources of negativity may come from social platforms, toxic individuals, stressful work environments, personal challenges, financial instability, health issues, and world events.


However, I am here to tell you that you can determine how you want to engage with negativity. We must stop giving our control away and take accountability for our actions. Be mindful of how you are using your energy. It is not the negativity that impacts us the most. It is our reaction to it. It is essential to develop strategies to manage and mitigate its impact. Here are some things to consider when handling negative situations or people:


  1. Stay on top of your goals until they are complete. No one knows what is inside of the mind. Keep your dreams close to your heart and be determined to finish them. Pursuing and completing goals helps you grow as an individual. It fosters resilience, discipline, determination, and self-improvement. You will thank yourself later.

  2. Change your perspective! Keep a smile on your face no matter what happens. Don’t take things personally. When one door closes, another one opens. Life is about learning lessons. We are all students in life, no matter how old you are. Imagine a life where we had all the answers. I think that would be pretty boring anyway. However, think about what you are supposed to learn from stressful experiences. STORY TIME: I was stationed at the Pentagon and was exempt from rifle qualifications. I had not shot on a range in four years when I arrived in Okinawa, Japan. My leadership scheduled my range qualification on Camp Schwab about seven months after arriving. My nervousness was the least of my worries. That week was disastrous because of the weather. It was the month of April and close to Typhoon season. After being rained on for days, I earned an expert shooting score. The truth of the matter is I wasn’t bothered by the weather. I kept my eyes on the prize, the expert shooting badge.

  3. What are you grateful for? I was listening to a video on YouTube, and someone wrote a comment about being thankful for sleeping in their car. I do not have experience being homeless, but I have had many moments in life where I did not know how I was going to make it through and I did. For example, I became determined to enlist in the Marine Corps because independence became my priority. However, I became a wife and a mother within the first year of my career. Count your blessings daily! Being grateful allows us to cultivate a positive mindset, nurture relationships, improve our well-being, and contribute to a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

  4. You are not alone. Be open to receiving help. No one on this planet has it all figured out. Asking for and accepting support is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength and wisdom. Getting assistance allows you to gain knowledge, experience, and resources, increasing your chances of success. Also, don’t be afraid of seeking professional help. Burnout, exhaustion, and illness are examples of what occurs when handling everything independently.

  5. Do not compare yourself to your neighbor. We are who we are for a reason. Focus on your journey, strengths, and uniqueness. “Stay in your lane” was the best advice someone gave me, and it is part of why I am who I am today. Focusing on yourself allows you to embrace authenticity, build self-confidence, cultivate gratitude, foster positive relationships, eliminate stress, and encourage personal exploration. You will accomplish much more by “minding the business that pays you”!

  6. Respecting and nurturing yourself is essential for maintaining good health. Do not be afraid of creating boundaries with others and stand by them. Create a schedule for self-care. Take moments to breathe deeply. Engaging in activities that promote relaxation brings clarity and allows us to handle challenging situations effectively. We should not feel guilty loving ourselves. It is not selfish. Instead, it is necessary for a healthy and balanced life.

  7. Take time to understand and evaluate your emotions. Dwelling in sorrow hinders us from finding solutions. Acting and continuing to move forward empowers us to face life challenges with resilience and a proactive approach.


Disengaging from situations or people can be done positively. It is your right to love yourself. Living in alignment with your core values brings happiness and leads to a purpose-driven life. You are worthy of all great things in life, but you must believe so.




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